I learned to swim the first time I jumped in a pool.
I didn’t learn to ride a bike till I was ten.
I love math and could do it all day.
I freeze up every time I try to write for school.
Why?
Every task we approach is accompanied by this feeling inside of us that we call motivation. That’s the feeling of energy and excitement that comes with doing something fun or challenging, something that we anticipate, something we look forward to for whatever reason.
What are you motivated to do?
Stop reading right now and think about the tasks that you regularly do that you are very motivated to do. They can include fun activities like playing soccer or activities that some kids find boring like learning math.
Each one of us is motivated differently.
What are you not motivated to do?
Stop reading right now and think about the tasks that you regularly do that you are really unmotivated to do. They can include activities that some kids think are fun like playing soccer or really cool activities like learning math.
Each one of us is motivated differently. Did you notice that the last two sections were almost completely the same? What motivates you will often not be what motivates someone else, even your best friend.
Where does motivation come from?
- Motivation comes from enjoyment
If you have a really great time the first time you do an activity, you’re likely to be motivated to do it again. - Motivation comes from approval
All of us care, at least a bit, about how others respond to us. When people approve of something we do, that can be a strong motivation to do it again. - Motivation comes from your personality
I can’t tell you why I like to write. I always did. Almost all of us find it easy to do certain things, no matter what anyone else thinks. - Motivation comes from the people around you
When people are dismissive, mean, or just not supportive, we can feel less motivated than if they support us enthusiastically. - Motivation comes from rewards
Sometimes rewards, either concrete prizes like trophies or money or abstract rewards like gaining a friend, can be motivating. - Motivation comes from your inner commitment
No matter all the other factors, if you are really set on achieving something, you will feel highly motivated.
There are so many other factors to consider, even the environment you’re in, whether you’ve had enough food and rest, and the time of day.
So should I only do things that I already feel motivated to do?
No no no! If you did, you’d probably be a very unhealthy person with no friends and few interests. Humans aren’t horses; we don’t just eat the grass in front of us because that’s what our DNA is telling us to do. We often make choices that are not good for us because we don’t feel motivated to make better choices.
But the fact is: We don’t always feel easily motivated. What then?
How do I find motivation if I am not feeling it?
The first step is to find out what does motivate you. Look at the things that you do happily, and ask yourself some questions:
- Do you like that the activity is social, involving other people, or solitary?
- Do you prefer graded or ungraded classes or assignments?
- Do you like that the rules for the activity are clear and specific or that it’s open-ended and creative?
- Do you like when you get positive support from adults or do you prefer to be independent?
- Do you like to get a concrete reward at the end of the activity or are you satisfied with a job well done?
Once you know what motivates you, look at other activities and see if you can build a list of motivating factors.
Once you’ve done that, the question is this: How can you build those motivating factors into an activity that you feel unmotivated to do?
An example
I am extremely unmotivated to scoop my cat’s litterbox. What should I do about that?
I make a list of motivating factors in many of the tasks that I do like:
- I do well when I keep a regular routine
- I like to have the right tools at hand
- I love singing
After making my list, I realize that I have been going about it all wrong. I thought I should scoop the litterbox when it got too dirty, which meant that I kept putting it off and putting it off until it was a huge mess.
Instead, I decided to build it into my morning routine. I eat breakfast, and on my way to brush my teeth, I scoop the litterbox first. I keep everything I need right there, including a little dustpan and brush to clean up.
That takes care of two of the motivating factors on my list, but it still isn’t fun. So, while I’m scooping, I make up silly songs that I sing as if I am my cat. It’s really ridiculous. But fun. And I am now much more motivated to scoop the litterbox.
I’d still rather do pretty much anything else, but I scoop the litter every day with no complaint now.
How will you motivate yourself?
It’s really important to remember that having your parent nag you or reward you is never the best way for you to get motivated. What you want to do is develop intrinsic motivation—so that it comes from inside you.
I hope this helps you become more motivated and happy about doing tasks that aren’t your favorite. Happy scooping!