OK, so tell me the truth: are my kids weird?
Last week did your kids think that chicken apple sausage was the very best thing they’d ever eaten, and this week did they deny ever putting such a thing in their mouths?
Do your kids get in fights over such deep insults as “You were looking at me weird!”?
Do your kids desperately tell you upon getting off the bus that they need Valentines for school on Tuesday, then deny all knowledge of Valentines when you sit them down to make some?
Do your kids wear their shirts backwards or inside-out? How about their raincoats?
Do your kids believe that you want them to come into your office, play with your mouse, and swivel in your office chair?
Do your kids think that the word “poop” is the funniest in the English language?
When you say, “Stop dropping your food on the floor — I’m the one that has to clean it up” do your kids say, “But Mommy, you like cleaning!”?
When you ask, “Why do you think I like cleaning?” do they answer, “Because you do it so much, so you must like it!”?
When you say, “Please put your lunch dishes in the kitchen,” do your kids answer, “You’re mean!”?
Does he say, “You’re not the boss of me!” when he’s four?
Does she say, “I’m not your slave, you know,” when she’s 7?
It’s been raining for three days straight. Your child tries to leave the house without his raincoat. You ask where it is. Does he say, “Why should I know where it is?”
Has your child learned to tie his shoelaces yet?
Does your child express complete confusion as to why, in the two hours he’s been working on his report, he’s only typed two words?
When you ask your children how something happened, do they blame their imaginary friends?
When your children say they can’t find something, can you find it in under 30 seconds?
Does your child wear mismatched socks? On purpose or because he didn’t notice?
Will your child only wear socks that suit her mood?
Did your child dress up as H1N1 for Halloween?
Do your children talk babytalk when adults as them questions?
Do your children freak out adult strangers by using the correct words for things when they are two?
Can your children repeat the same phrase, over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over,and over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over, and over and over….
…..No?
Really? Oh.
Well, uh, mine don’t either.
Just asking…. Bye!
