I was always a very good student, so it didn’t occur to me to figure out how I was learning. I guess I figured that whatever I was doing, I was doing it right.
I did notice that I didn’t do things like most other people. When I was in college, it was fashionable for everyone to sit in the library and complain during finals week, and do all their studying very late at night in their dorm rooms.
I didn’t study. I had realized much earlier in life that if I didn’t already know the material by finals week, I might as well not try. For me, trying to cram information in my head is useless.
Now that I have kids and I’m educating one at home, I’m noticing that they do things like I do, and that it’s not really, uh, normal. Case in point: yesterday I worked in my son’s classroom. It was the first time I’d actually been there for an extended time that I was taking part in the class. This is strange for me, because I’m always so involved with my kids’ schools. But since I’ve been homeschooling, I have less time to be in class with my son. And he has such a fabulous teacher, so I was taking some time off.
But now his class is doing a newspaper, and it seemed obvious to ask the writing mom to help. I came in a couple of weeks into the process, so all I knew about what was happening was through my son. He had written his article and had duties doing some of the design of the newspaper, too, which he had started on.
It turned out that they had only gotten so far as talking about the articles they were supposed to do. Some of the students had done some research. The daughter of the other mom who is running the project had also put together interview questions. My son, it seemed, had jumped the gun.
And whose kid is he?
That’s exactly like me, I thought. If it’s a project that I want to do, I dive headlong into it and wonder why everyone else is still standing up there testing the water with their toes. If it’s a project I don’t want to do, I dive headlong into it to get it over with.
My son and my daughter both have a similar way of going about things: if it’s a project they want to do, they get lost in it with gusto. My daughter started her science fair project in November, she was so excited about it. It wasn’t due till February! My son had his whole article written, but he hadn’t followed any of the steps he was supposed to in order to get there.
So far they haven’t mastered my way of getting distasteful tasks over with quickly. This is unfortunate. My son seems to think that if he complains enough, it’ll go away. My daughter just won’t do anything she doesn’t want to do. So. There.
The other mom who is running the project was so great. If I’d been up there, I don’t know what I would have done. She, however, had the whole task broken down into steps. She explained to the kids what they should have done, what they were going to do that day, and what they needed to do over the next week. Then we all broke into small groups to see where everyone was. It was a fascinating little slice of the human psyche sitting around a table. The kid who doesn’t want to write anything down, says he has it all in his head. The kid who has everything written down but forgot to bring his notes. The kid who had it all together and had everything in front of her. Then my son, who was done, but hadn’t done anything the way he was supposed to.
What’s a mom to do? It turns out he was supposed to be collaborating on his article with someone else. People who work like us can be difficult collaborators. What do you mean, you can’t read my mind?
So today his co-writer called him and they worked something out. I’m not sure how, but I know it’ll be a good lesson for him. It’s always instructive to realize that not everyone is like you. And that’s a good thing. If the whole world was like us, we’d all have to be mind readers.
Vive la difference!
