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On leaving California…and staying just the same

Posted on by Suki

Amidst the tragedy of a gorgeous, 78-degree October day, I did a search on my phone: “most livable cities in Canada.” It was the end of a long day of fires and vilification of the California way of life, and I’d had it.

I’m not the only one. I’ve known several people who have actually acted on the impulse:

Some gorgeous vista I took a photo of!

The California we loved is gone…

It’s too crowded…

I can’t afford to live here…

Global warming is going to kill our environment…

It seems like stresses come at us from all directions. The fires burning around the state amidst the unseasonable beach weather. A federal government that seems to be governing against us rather than welcoming the strength of our diversity. The homeless people we see alongside the highway and in our Facebook feeds.

Does anybody know of a room for rent? I’m a quiet, responsible middle-aged single mom with a ten-year-old son…

They say that people are leaving California, and I see it. I know a whole extended family that’s moving up to Oregon. I know a guy who just traded in his California home for a veritable mansion in the Southeast. I soothe myself with searches on my phone.

Jazz scene in Calgary?

Go ahead, if it’s time for you to leave…

Double rainbow over gas station

Here’s what it comes down to: I’m fine that some people are choosing to leave. There are a lot of people who are staying, and we love California. We’re willing to accept the difficulty of living here in exchange for the benefits. Late-night phone searches aside, there is nowhere I’d rather be right now.

Sure, we have problems…

High cost of living, crowded highways, droughts, earthquakes, troubled school systems. To read the national news, you’d think this place is a hellhole. It’s the place that people who don’t live here seem to love to hate.

But those of us who love it are willing to accept these trade-offs, work to make it a better place, and even have a few comebacks. (Remember: More people die each year shoveling snow than die in earthquakes per century!)

So go ahead and crow about how people are leaving California.

This dream is not for everyone…

Indian Rock, with San Francisco in the background

Let’s face it: California has done a great job of selling the California dream, and lots of people come here to try it out. But the California dream isn’t an easy one. You don’t come to a fragile environment, overcrowded and under-watered, and expect an easy time of it.

It happened during the last technology bust, too: many of the people who had moved to the Bay Area for jobs and beautiful weather left rather than weather an economic downturn.

Love it or leave it…

If you want to love a place like California, it’s like having a difficult but enchanting spouse or a beloved old car that keeps threatening to throw its last rod. You make the investment, you make the commitment, and then you throw yourself at the mercy of your love.

Walking on the beach on a gorgeous, 78-degree November day, my husband and I have The Conversation. If we left, where would we go? We belong here. We’ll do our best to keep this place alive and thriving, but in any case, we’re willing to deal with what comes our way.

She’s a beauty, this state. You can love it or leave it, but we’re here to stay.

When Online Communities Work

Posted on by Suki

This autumn we got devastating news about our new kitten: she had a previously incurable, almost certainly fatal disease. Our vet couldn’t treat her, but did mention to us that there was an experimental drug.Thus started my first foray into the world of experimental drug procurement.

We noticed something unusual about one of Tabitha’s eyes and took her to the vet. It turned out that we caught her disease right at the beginning, which gave her a fighting chance.

But I didn’t do it alone.

I joined a Facebook group of nearly 15,000 members who were in the same boat. The members, typical of Facebook groups, range from the frantic pet owner asking pretty crazy-sounding questions to seasoned veterans reassuring and supporting newbies.

Usually, a group like this would descend into the chaos that we’re seeing all over Facebook, with fake news, name-calling, and dark conspiracy theories. But this group is a shining example of how the Internet can work to bring us together. What makes this group work?

1. Committed moderators

Americans typically yearn to be fully independent, often believe that groups don’t need leaders, sometimes think that other humans are, in fact, the problem.

But the fact is, well-functioning groups have leaders, and those leaders make decisions. In this group, committed moderators scan each and every post within minutes and respond, if only with a click of the “like” button to confirm.

2. Real participants

The promise of the Internet was that anonymity would free us to pursue truth and fairness. Unfortunately, it’s also freed us to express the ugliest parts of human nature, including lies and bullying.

In this group, when a new participant joins, they are assigned a personal moderator who lives in their vicinity. No anonymity, no chance that participants will feel free to be abusive, dismissive, or ugly. Conspiracy theories are quashed immediately. Participants are encouraged by their moderators to share appropriately.

3. Crossing into IRL

Finally, the best-functioning groups I’ve been part of are like this one, where members acknowledge and support the real humans behind the posts and smiley faces. When my family ran low on medication, one of the group members met me on the street outside of the radio station where I do a show to hand me enough medicine to get through while we wait for our shipment.

No questions asked, no ID needed. She knows who I am; I know who she is. We will have no trouble finding each other IRL. The trust of this stranger that I would repay her was extremely touching.

Our beautiful, healthy kitty at 7 months. Without the group, we would have lost her 3 months ago.

How can we get control of this beast that is the Internet?

I believe that groups like this are a blueprint for how things can and should work. But it will be up to us, the users of the Internet, to make it happen. How?

  • Don’t join anonymous groups unless you really want all that goes with anonymity.
  • If you want to keep a group positive and functional, be prepared to offer your time when needed.
  • Be supportive of the hard (usually unpaid) job that moderators have, and post within a group’s guidelines.
  • Exert political and financial pressure as you can. If we make it clear to companies that we want sites to have moderation and verification of users, it will happen.

Is my student ready for online courses?

Posted on by Suki

I often see this question in homeschooling and parenting groups: How do I know if online education will work for my student?

I’m not a proponent of kids sitting in front of computers all day with no real-world interaction, so if you’re looking to an answer whether you should enroll in K12 or another full-time online program, this musing won’t help you.

However, I have been teaching online courses since 2013 and I think it’s a great way for kids to access part of their education. I have also noticed some patterns in what makes students successful. Here are a few pointers to help you in your decision.

Don’t start with a hated subject

For the first class, make sure it’s in an area that your student loves. Don’t foist their most hated subject on them for their first online course. I see this all the time: “My student is struggling with math so I’m going to try an online course.”

If your student already loves online learning, certainly, give it a try. But for the first course, choose something that your student is passionate about.

Make sure the teacher runs an interactive, creative classroom

Not all online courses are made the same. Your student will have the highest likelihood of success with support from a live teacher who makes learning fun.

Find out what specific skills your student will need

There are some skills that are essential. For example, I get students who don’t know how to copy and paste on their computer. I can’t stop class to show them.

There are also skills specific to each course. Students in my history of music class need to know how to start and stop audio and how to move to a specific timestamp within the recording.

I made this video for kids who are taking my classes to explain the basic skills they will need.

Monitor your child’s engagement

You’re going to be tempted to get your own work done during your child’s online class. I understand: I wanted to do the same thing with mine. However, if you have any concern about whether your child will thrive in the course, do not walk out of the room during the first three classes. Pretend you’re working on another computer or absorbed in a book. Observe your child’s engagement and interaction.

If it doesn’t work…

Students who are ready for online education should do fine. They may complain if the class isn’t fun or is not at the right level for them without showing any particular distress.

But some students are clearly not ready:

  • They check out and start playing games on their computers.
  • They disrupt discussions intentionally or unintentionally by not staying on topic.
  • The teacher may even contact you about their behavior or lack of engagement.

My recommendation is not to push it the first time. If your child is bored or disruptive in class, chalk one up to experience and withdraw them from the class. (Don’t ask for a refund if the class doesn’t work for your child—online teachers can’t work with kids who aren’t ready to be in an online environment.)

When is the right time?

Most children have a point where online learning starts working for them, but it’s not any specific age. The best thing to do, when it doesn’t seem that the student is ready, is not to push too hard. Forcing them to stay in a class when they are getting nothing out of it will punish them (and the teacher and other students) and may create a permanent aversion.

For more information about my courses:

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