Report from the conference, day 1

One year ago, I had a terribly disappointing experience. I had proposed a few workshops at the HSC Homeschooling Conference in Sacramento, and the one they accepted was a writing workshop for teens. This was going way back into my past as a college English teacher, and I was looking forward to it. I frankly never meant to teach young children — if you’d asked me about that back when I was a college teacher, I would have said that I didn’t want to take the chance of screwing up young children’s lives by being so responsible for them! Ah, how things change.

My workshop was set for the final hour on a Sunday afternoon at the conference. I went to my room and waited. And waited. And wondered. I actually didn’t know any homeschooling teens, as I was homeschooling a six-year-old and was relatively new at it. It occurred to me that perhaps I should have done a little legwork before the conference. And that perhaps the last session on a Sunday afternoon was not the right time to ask teens to come and sit in a quiet room and write.

No one came. Finally, I went for a walk around the conference center and saw one large group of teens relaxing together, their last hour together before they’d go back to wherever they came from. Many of them, I’d been told, look forward to the conference as a time to get together with their friends from around the state. It was clear that writing poetry was far from their minds.

And yet, optimistic soul I must be, I applied again this year and again I was assigned a teen poetry workshop. This time, I asked them please not to make it Sunday afternoon! And I did a little advance PR, e-mailing the state e-mail list and asking parents of teens who like to write to let them know about my workshop.

This time they came, five teen girls who like to write and were willing to let me guide them through an experiment in finding thoughts and inspirations. One of the first things I did was to read them a piece of dreadful drivel that I’d written in iambic pentameter, the meter much classic English poetry (including Shakespeare’s) was written in. I write really awful iambic pentameter, and I know it. And I remember being a teen and wanting to do things well, and that confusion of what I should do when something was, in fact, dreadful. Quit? Cry? Get angry?

Now I know I should have just laughed and wondered if there was anything I could get from it. So that’s what we did. We wrote in a variety of forms: first I had them walk in Shakespeare’s shoes and try iambic pentameter. Not surprisingly, they hated it as much as I do. They discovered what I figured they would: that the tradition of American song with its four beats per line made it very hard to get in that last fifth beat. It feels unnatural to us.

Then we did a shape poem: we all wrote in circles and looked for inspiration there. Then we wrote on graph paper, one letter per box. And then I set them free.

And it was fun. They took my lead and didn’t try to get too much deep meaning from it. We wrote and giggled and talked a bit about the shape of the English language and why sad poetry is so much easier to write than happy poetry. And since we are homeschoolers, I didn’t have to correct their spelling and grammar — Mom can take care of that!

My only regret is that I misread the schedule and let them out 15 minutes earlier than we all wanted to go. We were all disappointed; it was an hour and a quarter very well spent, and I thank them for that time.

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After that, I was free to be the student, and I went to hear Diane Flynn Keith speak. She’s sort of a homeschooling guru who started a simple idea of “Carschooling” — things you can do while driving in the car that are educational. Homeschoolers often spend lots of time in the car, running around to catch that next bit of inspiration that the world is offering. And by the way, this would be a good website for any family that wants to make the most of their car time — not just homeschoolers!

Keith gave an interesting talk on homeschooling teenagers. Since I am setting out to homeschool an almost-teen, I thought perhaps she could offer some insight and inspiration.

She did! I had  a momentary fear that she would be one of those homeschooling gurus who assume that all of us are completely anti-school. Personally, I am pro-knowledge, and however people get it is fine with me. But I can’t think of anything better than having four years of young adulthood to study and argue and live the life of the mind. So my hope for my kids is clearly that I’d like them to go to college… if it’s what they want.

She did a good job of balancing on that line between rejecting the idea that we have to do everything that we are told, and rejecting everything just as a reflex. Homeschoolers, like schoolers, can sometimes find themselves rejecting the idea that our way is not the only way. So I like to hear the acknowledgment (though it should be obvious) that each family should make the choices that work for them.

One of the fun things about this conference is meeting people face-to-face whom I’ve only “met” online. They are more likely to recognize me, since I have this habit of pasting my face above my work. But it’s fun to place actual humans in their context. In this modern world, it’s too easy to forget that there are actual fingers behind those words that appear on our screens.

And we're… off! Sorta. Kinda. Getting there.

I declared to my kids a few days ago that our official first day of homeschooling would be next Monday, but somehow today got to be the day.

All summer, we’ve been coasting. My daughter has been so into her camps, and my son has been into practicing magic. Neither had any interest in studying much of anything, except my daughter and our Math Stories excursion. I had no problem with that. I may be a classical homeschooler at heart, but my 7-year-old has proven to me that unschooling can, in fact, work. She just soaks things in whether I plan them or not.

However, I have been lying in wait with a few things. One of them was our Japanese project. I decided that the way to get my kids really into learning Japanese was to get them to document it, something they both like to do. So here it is, all fresh and new:

You can visit our new Japan blog at http://sukiwessling.com/Japan/.

Today happened just like a typical homeschooling day when I was doing only one. We did a scheduled activity (Irene the wonderful piano teacher is back in town! Yay!), then a few errands. Came home, ate lunch.

At some point I mentioned that we might do some Japanese. Daughter says she has something much more important to do. Son disappears into his room. Later, I give them 5 minutes notice, Let’s get together to do some Japanese. Son has excuses. Daughter says I’m busy!!! Finally, I drag them to the carpet. Son interacts with me for a bit, then daughter joins in, then son decides he needs to derail the whole thing and gets daughter all annoyed, then daughter decides she needs to derail the whole thing and picks up the flashcard for Little Sister (imoto), sticks a blue tag on it, and says, “Blue means good.” Then she picks up the flashcard for big brother (oniisan), sticks a red tag on it, and announces, “Red means bad.”

How do you say “Oy, veh!” in Japanese, anyway?

But somehow, things seemed to start to come together. There was a vibe. We learned to pronounce the animal flashcards and took turns saying, “I like dogs.” “Really? I like cats.” The sort of inanities that you have to do when learning a language.

Then I mentioned the blog. 11-year-old had already chosen his Japanese blog name, Akira. 7-year-old, who hadn’t been able to decide when it was just an idea, suddenly had to be Ishi. 11-year-old set up WordPress on my website like he does such things for a living. (I’m still trying to figure out how I can become rich on  his skills.) And we have a blog.

The idea is that we will all contribute, and that our contributions will fuel our excitement about what we’re doing. That’s the idea anyway.

But if you want to make my kids’ day (and perhaps make my homeschooling days easier), take a minute to go and comment on their blog entries (once they’re up there). It’s such a kick for kids to realize that they’ve done something that grown-ups have noticed and taken seriously. And while they are working away at the blog, they’ll actually be cementing what they’re learning, which is my point.

Their point is having fun. And being taken seriously, no matter what they’re doing.

Magic.

Back to homeschool

I’m writing an article for Growing Up in Santa Cruz‘s September issue about what “back to homeschool” means to local homeschooling families, but I didn’t have space to include my own thoughts on that. So here they are….

This is one scene from our messy homeschooling last year
This is one scene from our messy homeschooling last year. Early in our homeschooling career, another homeschooler said to me, "Perhaps you're just a bit too neat to be a homeschooler!" But see? I do allow messes to happen: this is science fair prep...

Back to homeschool means realizing that summer is almost over and we still haven’t had a single day without a scheduled event, all summer…

Back to homeschool means looking at my disarray of a homeschooling corner in the breakfast room and remembering that I’ve seen school classrooms in worse shape…

Back to homeschool means waking up in the morning and realizing that I’m actually going to homeschool two children this year, and I’m still not sure how to do one…

Back to homeschool means that before we go back to homeschool, I get to spend a weekend away at the HSC Homeschooling Conference in Sacramento. Most families go as a family, but fellow blogger Heddi introduced me to the idea that we are with our kids all year long, so we deserve a break! So I am going to retool, and present three workshops myself.

Back to homeschool means a growing excitement about going back to our public homeschool program and seeing our friends we haven’t gotten together with all summer.

Back to homeschool means remembering that although Montessori’s “clean it up after you use it” philosophy is attractive to my neatness gene, homeschooling is all about day-long or multi-day projects in which messes happen and messes stay, and stay, and stay…

Like other homeschoolers, back to homeschool means the fun we get to have going to museums and parks that are empty of schooling families. We’re happy to give these places a miss during the crowded summers.

Back to homeschool means wondering if I can keep up with everything I need to I do for myself and still educate my kids.

Heres another homeschooling mess from last year!
Here's another homeschooling mess from last year! Building with Lego is a perfectly acceptable homeschool activity! We used to have the "use it then put it away rule. Now I allow for muti-day projects till it's time to vacuum...

Back to homeschool means salivating over all the incredibly cool opportunities that start popping up: carpentry class, science classes, online literature classes, someone forming a nature group, someone else forming a homeschool co-op… and wondering whether we can squeeze one more thing into our crazy schedules.

Back to homeschool means thinking about the ways that I will make myself available to other homeschoolers for support and help educating their children — one of my favorite parts of homeschooling.

Back to homeschool means wondering if any of my friends will be willing to take on my kids this year, after they got to deal with one of them last year……….

Back to homeschool means a continual re-evaluation of our educational choices. Are there really no schools that could do better? Are we really happy with this? Would it just be easier to stick them both in private school and get a job?

Back to homeschool means excitement over knowing how much my kids will learn, leading themselves to answer questions and develop their own interests.

Back to homeschool reminds me that I have to suppress my dislike of clutter, because a good homeschool day often leaves some craziness in its wake….

Back to homeschool means wondering whether I should buy a boxed curriculum just in case I miss something…

And back to homeschool reminds me that I missed plenty of things when I was in school, but when they became important later I learned them.

Yep, I have to get used to messy if Im going to do this homeschooling thing...
Yep, I have to get used to messy if I'm going to do this homeschooling thing... When a kid has to do experiments with magnetism, who cares if it's right where you stand to play guitar?

Mostly, back to homeschool means a renewed commitment to a choice that is a commitment. It started as a fallback because everything else had failed, but now it’s a choice that I must embrace and celebrate in order to be successful.

I don’t think that homeschooling would be for every family, but this year we’re going to take a chance on it being right for us…

…for now, at least, which is as far ahead as I can plan!

Math stories

NOTE: This post has been updated by a new, consolidated post and list of Math Stories which you can find here.

Homeschoolers are constantly sending out information about cool resources they found, great projects that inspired their children, and new curriculum they’re trying. I try to keep up on it all, but a lot of it slides right by. Occasionally I really try out a recommended website or book. But sometimes it’s a slower process.

Penrose
Penrose

In the case of story-based math learning, it was a process of being nagged, over and over, by a continuing refrain from the chorus. On every “great math resources” list I’d come across one. Or a friend would mention one. Or I’d see a recommendation on an e-mail forum.

Then one day I typed “Sir Cumference” into the library’s online search engine, and we had a revelation.

Math stories work!

I need to distinguish math stories from that dreaded staple of math textbooks and standardized tests, the story problem. Math stories are to story problems what sugar is to saccharine, or hiking a beautiful mountain trail is to look at photos of a beautiful mountain trail. Saccharine, photos, and story problems assume that the goal is the answer. But what’s important here is the actual experience.

The first math stories I brought home recently were the Sir Cumference books. Our local library had two of them, so I ordered them and placed them on the table by the couch where we keep our books in progress. My daughter was immediately drawn to them — she loves knights. The titles are wonderful: Sir Cumference and the Dragons of Pi; Sir Cumference and the First Round Table. She devoured the two I had ordered that day, all by herself.

That evening, after the kids were in bed, my husband told me something with awe on his face: “Do you know that our daughter explained to me the relationship between the number of vertices and edges in a geometric solid?”

“Sir Cumference,” I answered.

“Sir What?

In each story, the characters (charmingly named things like “Lady Di of Ameter”) take part in solving a mystery involving math. I am sure that my daughter had no idea that she was “learning” anything of any use, but she was clearly retaining concepts, some of them much more advanced than the math she is able to do on paper. The next day I went to the Bookshop and got the whole series, since the library doesn’t have it. They’ve been in constant rotation ever since.

Recently I was at a meeting and recommended these books. Another mom recommended a book that she’d recommended before, but now that I’d had the Sir Cumference experience I was starting to get it. The Adventures of Penrose the Mathematical Cat starts with an introduction about the real Penrose, and it has his actual photo. Then the story immediately dips into fantasy.

The real Penrose likes to sleep on his mistress’s math papers and books. The fictional Penrose interacts with characters from those papers that come to life and pose him questions he (and your child) had never considered before. The topics covered, as in Sir Cumference, are often rather esoteric, but they lead to deep understanding rather than a shallow attainment of a skill. My daughter loved the chapter about creating stars within other shapes. The chapter on base 2 led her and her brother to spend some time trying to stump each other with bigger and bigger base 2 numbers to translate to base 10.

Another example of math stories is recommended Heddi Craft: the Life of Fred series. As the publisher describes it: “In his everyday life he first encounters the need for each new part of mathematics, and then comes the mathematics.” Each chapter presents Fred with obstacles that can be overcome with math, and ends with a small number of math problems related to the text. Heddi says that the beauty of it is that it’s not a textbook chapter with 20 questions of each type, but rather a simple quiz that makes sure the child gets it, then moves on.

These three examples are all rather different in their form, but their aim is the same: If you create a world in which math matters, kids will learn it. And all three of these worlds draw kids in, sometimes without their knowing that it’s the least bit educational. And they will acquire a deep understanding rather than a superficial skill that they can easily forget over summer break.

The knowledge kids acquire depends on the child, his or her math skills, and — I think this is key — the involvement of the parent or teacher. I have seen this quite clearly: Sir Cumference was just left strewn about our house. My daughter reads them, but we have never actually sat down and done any math associated with them because I was just enjoying how much she was enjoying them and talking about the concepts she was learning.

When she saw Penrose, however, she refused at first to even look at it. “That’s boring,” she said. No knights. No color pictures. Lots and lots of text. So one night when she was drying off from her shower, I just sat down and started reading the first story out loud. My involvement, this time, led to a very different type of interaction. She was not only interested in the book, but willing to do some of the exercises with me, and then inspired to go off on her own and do more.

Last year I attempted to do the “leave it lying around the house” method with Life of Fred, and got the same “that’s boring” response. I think what she really means is, “I’m going to need your involvement here,” so when we’re finished with Penrose, I think I will once again start Life of Fred and see what happens.

If you’re interested in these books and more, check out Living Math, a wonderful math resources website. She doesn’t have a page specifically for math stories, but many of the books she recommends are in story form.

A ledger for peace

I’m not much at finance. I’m good at math, and very organized, so you’d think I’d do OK at bookkeeping. But on the contrary: I hate bookkeeping and it hates me. I do the bare minimum required for my business and force myself monthly to balance our home accounts. When I’m a penny off, I get driven insane trying to figure out where that money went. It’s hard for me to give in and just adjust the register.

My Ledger sheet
My Ledger sheet

So it’s probably understandable that I haven’t done much bookkeeping with my kids. They get their allowance every week, they get paid for various extra tasks they do, and sometimes they get incentive payments for behavioral issues. They’re expected to keep their money in one place, keep track of it, and spend it on things that they want that we don’t want to pay for.

That system, however, had some problems.

First of all, I would shrug when our son mysteriously had another $10 to give me to buy him yet another iTunes gift card. (What did kids of our generation spend their money on? Oh, I guess we were always wanting to go down to the record store, but there was the fact of working out how to get there, so I’m guessing we spent a lot less, or at least a lot less often!)

“Where did that money come from?” my husband will ask. Uh, well…

The kids could also exploit my leaky memory. “You didn’t give me my allowance this week!” my daughter would exclaim, and search me if I did or didn’t.

And then there were the arguments: “She stole my wallet!” “No I didn’t!” “I’m sure I had $20 in here and now I can’t buy that software I’ve been saving for!” Et cetera.

So I got on the warpath, the only time I ever really get much done. I stormed upstairs and looked for a ledger sheet to download. Nothing. Just software, which we have. But software can be much more easily altered than a piece of paper! I wanted them to write down those numbers, add, and subtract so they could actually see where the money went.

I tried printing from Excel, but if you don’t have anything in the fields, the boxes don’t print. I tried buying a ledger book, but they were horribly expensive online, and nonexistent at the office supply store.

Finally, I thought, OK, I am a graphic designer, after all. We bought them report folders that would hold their ledger sheets, and came home. By then, it had occurred to my slow-moving brain that I could probably figure out the Excel thing. So here’s the trick: I did try all the various preferences and options, but really, the easiest way to do it is just to insert a space in each cell so that Excel prints the outlines of all the cells. I made the cells big enough for a 7-year-old’s handwriting. Then I PDF’ed it, and voila!, a perfect kids’ ledger sheet.

You may have it, free of charge (click here).

Will this solve the problem? Well, we still have the problem of my leaky memory. I really have much more important things on my mind than my kids’ money, like what to have for dinner and how to solve all the world’s problems. My fix for that is that they’ve been informed that any money that mysteriously appears in their account will be taken away. Every deposit and withdrawal must be initialed by a parent.

And we still have the problem of wishful thinking, which I guess will just be solved the next time my kids say they want to buy something they can’t afford. It used to be that they’d immediately accuse the other child of taking their money, or me of not giving them allowance, or something like that.

Once you start keeping track of your money, you have to face the cold, hard facts.

Hey, maybe that’s why I don’t like bookkeeping!

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