Category: Homeschooling

The learning lifestyle: spinning and mixing

Posted on by Suki

My friend Heddi of the Educational Resource Center likes to talk about “living the learning lifestyle,” and what that means for families. (She also has a new blog here!) We had a good example of it the other day.

Centripetal force!

My daughter saw that one of her favorite things was in at the Resource Center. They are two plastic bowls called Bilibos, the perfect size for a kid to sit in. They spin really fast. They’re very strong and you can stand on them. They make really funny hats.

So my daughter checked them out and spent a couple of joyous days spinning and marching around with them on her head. Her babies took baths in them. Her ten-year-old brother, keeper of all knowledge and arbiter of all that is correct, turned up his nose.

“So how are those educational?” he asked me one morning.

Sometimes the universe (and 6-year-old sisters) gives you what you need. I come downstairs to find that my daughter has peeled kernels of dried corn off an ear of Indian corn sitting on our table. She has placed the kernels in the Bilibo, and is spinning it really fast.

“Wow, Mom,” she said. “Look how they stick to the side when I spin it really fast! And look how they fall back down to the bottom when it slows down.”

By chance, the book How Science Works was sitting on the table next to the ear of corn, a sugar pie pumpkin waiting to be cooked for Thanksgiving (I did, and it was good), and an interesting gourd we’d found. I looked up “centrifugal force” and was disappointed to see that there was no diagram. So I grabbed a piece of paper and drew the diagram of how the force radiates outward. My daughter took the gourd and stuck it in the bowl and spun that. Even cooler! The heavy gourd positively stuck to the side of the spinning bowl.

So there, Mr. Ten-year-old! It’s educational!

Chemistry drama

Later that day, I remembered about a cool experiment that I’d been planning to do. My daughter likes excitement, my son likes magic. And this promised to have a little bit of both. I diluted some red grape juice from our fridge so that it was cherry-colored. Then we added one tablespoon of acid (white vinegar) to one bowl, left the middle bowl alone, and added one tablespoon of base (ammonia) to the bowl on the right.

Alchemy! The cherry-colored juice plus that yellowish ammonia cleaner should have gone light orange. Instead it went instantly and dramatically dark green. Sometimes the science experiments you try at home aren’t as dramatic as the description implies. Sometimes they’re cooler than you imagined. We found some blackberries in the freezer. Same experiment, same results.

We plan to try a number of colored fruits and vegetables: red cabbage, red onion, beets. Apparently some of them will be indicators for acid, some for base. All are indicators for fun, and for living the learning lifestyle.

education children homeschool homeschooling parenting resources school learning science

Household economies

Posted on by Suki

I have two major strikes against my ability to make money: First, the career path that called to me was writer and teacher. Neither has ever paid my way in life. The second is having chosen to homeschool my daughter. There are people who make a good income while homeschooling, but almost all of them were making a good income before homeschooling, and all of them love sleep a lot less than I do!

So when a question came up on one of the homeschooling forums I participate in, it raised my hackles immediately. I had e-mailed about a new Judo class happening in town. A mom answered, How can you afford to pay for these classes?

It was a perfectly reasonable question, one that homeschoolers always have to struggle with. There are those sleepless people I mentioned above. Then there are the homeschoolers who defect into charter school programs that give them a lot of money to educate their kids in return for more paperwork, more government oversight, and yearly No Child Left Behind testing. There are people who are lucky enough to have a spouse who can earn enough to support the whole family.

And then there’s everything else that we do to make ends meet.

In my case, I do have one of the luxuries mentioned above. My husband knew from an early age that he wanted to program computers, and he has applied himself diligently ever since, and since programming is a valued profession, he makes enough money to support a family of four. I feel almost sheepish admitting this, given that so many people aren’t in this position. But isn’t it what we used to expect? It was true of nearly all the families I grew up with, whether the father worked in a factory or in the hospital. True, the factory worker’s house was probably in a cheaper part of town, but the kids didn’t go hungry and they went to free, clean, well-run schools.

So I’m not going to apologize for the result of my husband’s hard work. But aside from that, I have found ways to “make money” as a homeschooling mom that others could do in their own ways.

First of all, I remember to value all the work I do for our family. I don’t need to hire people to take care of our kids after school. I have ample time to go shopping and prepare healthy food cheaply. My husband and I do a lot around the house that we would be hiring out for if we were busier. (And sometimes, frankly, we do hire out when it’s worth it!) According to Womenwork.org, I’d be making $30,000 a year if I charged another family for my homemaking services. And that’s not including my chef-work every evening.

Second, I have been really active this year in bartering. No matter who you are, you have skills that someone else needs. And if that someone else has skills that you need, consider a barter as a possibility. I was a web designer by trade before I had my son, and I still dabble, mostly for schools. But I have also been trading my web design and promotion skills to businesses that do things for my homeschooling. My daughter has gotten great classes for free — or rather, I should value my work by saying that I was paid well for the work I did, but I was paid in services rather than dollars.

Another thing I’ve done is creating new money-making opportunities with other homeschooling moms. We’re all in the same boat, so when another mom says, “I’ve thought of this way to make money, but I need help…” other moms can consider how they might help.

Finally, way back when my husband left his cushy corporate job to start a company, we made a number of changes to our spending patterns that we keep to this day. We only pay for entertainment we really want (no cable TV, we leech off my mom’s Netflix account, and go out to movies only occasionally). We are avid users of the public libraries. We make anything that we can (and find that we enjoy it more that way). We try (and sometimes succeed) to help our kids learn not to be mindless consumers, but rather only spend money on things they really need or will use creatively.

I’m tempted to say that I regret something about this way of life we’ve made, but I’m not sure I can figure out what I’d say. I know that we all make our choices based on what we want, and other people are certain that they have chosen what they want. But when they say that they are unhappy because they don’t get to spend time with their kids, I’m here to tell them that we do it. All of us out there, we figure it out one way or another. I know that I have advantages that other moms don’t have, but I also know that I work hard to contribute to our household economy. Mine may be a barter economy, but it’s worth no less than the full-time job I’d need to take to pay for it all.

Outschool, our way

Posted on by Suki

Well, I thought I was so darn clever. I decided that what my daughter and I are doing this year should be called “outschooling” instead of homeschooling.

In this world, what’s the point of trying to be original? The original homeschoolers got to that term first. But my homeschooling world bears little resemblance to the world of the original homeschoolers, so I’m going to take that term as my own!

Many of the original homeschoolers were, of course, people who wanted to keep their kids home. The majority of homeschoolers twenty years ago were Christian, and probably the most famous reason they had for keeping their kids at home was reisistance to the teaching of evolution.

That definitely doesn’t describe our reasons for homeschooling our daughter.

The original homeschoolers homeschooled out of the wish to keep their kids away from American society. Though I definitely share some of their concerns, that’s not why we’re homeschooling. (It is, however, why our kids don’t watch TV.)

So this year I was trying to figure out what to say to people about what we were doing, and I came up with the term “outschooling.” My “real homeschooler” source (my friend who actually chose homeschooling before trying out school) tells me that for “real” homeschoolers, outschooling means the opposite of homeschooling.

For me, it means going out into the world and tailoring schooling to the needs of the individual child. The result, this year, is that we’re only home for a reasonably long period of time on Fridays…as long as we don’t have fieldtrips.

Here’s how it’s working: Mondays, my daughter goes to her public school program. They do some academics, but the emphasis is mostly social. It’s a mixed group of kids from 5 to 7 years old. They do a lot of playing and have time for “inquiry groups,” where they learn about a subject and do related activities. My daughter’s group is making a rainforest in the classroom.

One Monday a month we have started a homeschoolers book club. We get together at the Educational Resource Center, have book discussions, do crafts, eat snacks. We’ve only met once, but it was very successful. You know those classrooms where the teacher tries to get the kids to talk about a book and they stare off into corners hoping they won’t get called on? In our little circle on the floor, we couldn’t get the kids to stop talking! Of course, some of the children were quieter, but they were all engaged and (one parent pointed out) I even slipped a little literary theory into our discussion.

Tuesdays, a friend takes my daughter in the morning for sewing class. As I recently gave away my sewing machine because I hated it So Much, this is very fulfilling for my daughter. And me. After that, we’re going to try out a math class taught by one of the teachers at her school.

Wednesdays, piano lessons, then we take friends’ daughters for Baking and Nature Club. For two weeks I walked the girls down into the woods and we identified plants, did sketches, ate lunch, and played at the creek. My goal is to have them create artwork and poetry for the Get to Know Contest. Having a specific goal always energizes my already energetic daughter. Given the weather, though, I guess this week is going to be more baking than nature!

Thursdays, we have a science class in the morning, again at the Educational Resource Center. It’s taught by Imagination Unlimited and the wonderful Kristan, who, when she’s not teaching kids, goes to Antarctica on research missions. I can’t think of a cooler role model for my little adventurer! In the afternoon, it’s off to art class at her school. Right now they have a Spectra artist doing a mural with them on a wall of one of the school building. I still remember doing the mosaic in the courtyard of my elementary school — creating something permanent on the walls of your school makes a deep and lasting impression. After art class, she goes off to spend time with Nana (my mom) at their farm.

Are you tired yet?

By Friday morning, having dropped her at Nana’s, brought son #1 to his violin lesson, and gone to my Ariose Singers rehearsal, I’m pretty wiped out! But she is totally energized. If I tell her, with a sigh of relief, that we don’t have anything to do till Judo at 3 p.m., she starts to whine. “I want to go OUT! I want to DO something!”

The great strength of homeschooling is that the education can be exactly tailored to the child. The great weakness is that a parent can get used to taking the easy way out. I know this, so I’m watching our outschooling closely: Am I just giving in to her “novelty seeking” nature? Or am I giving her an education that will help her to work on her weaknesses, while taking advantage of her natural strengths? I think it is the latter, and I know that it is a lot more work than I really wanted to do.

But she’s happy, and she’s learning, and what else can I ask from school than that?

Learning through life

Posted on by Suki

OK, I know that I haven’t made a convincing enough argument. All of you, my friends, who actually feel that I’m harming my child by homeschooling her, you are just holding your tongues so that we can maintain our friendship.

You think that by bringing up little criticisms, little questions, every day, you might make me see the irreparable harm I am causing to my child.

But now, I have finally happened upon the argument that will convince you, once and for all, that what I am doing is Just Fine. My daughter will not be irreparably harmed, and we can go back to talking about the last episode of Survivor rather than educational issues, which, I realize, bore you, though they fascinate me. That, however, is a different issue altogether.

The issue is homeschooling. Yes, it is true that I homeschool my daughter. And today I am going to present you with the argument that will finally silence all of your objections. And it will only take four words:

My daughter’s babies surf.

Surf babies

What? You’re not convinced yet? I’m going to have to explain things? OK, for you, I will do so. It’s a pity you weren’t homeschooled, because, you know, homeschooling can lead children to the ability to read minds. Well, maybe not so much. But they can be real smart.

Back to the surfing. Here is my proof:

You see, my daughter’s babies are surfing. Each one is surfing on a specially designed surfboard to fit her body shape, weight, and abilities. Simcha, you know, is an expert surfer. Cowbaby, well, we all know about Cowbaby.

What, you might ask, does this have to do with homeschooling? Well, I tell you, this is a perfect example of what I’ve been trying to explain to you all along! Homeschooling is not about standards; it’s not about worksheets or homework. It’s about learning through life. And here is homeschooling in a nutshell. Or at least in a boogie board.

Here you see three babies. Each one has a surfboard uniquely designed for his or her own body shape and weight.

Math! It is true that my daughter produced no worksheets to prove this, but I dare to submit that in order to design these surfboards, she had to use advanced mathematical skills. Addition: weight + height. Multiplication: wave height x gravity. Not to mention algebra: if baby A weighs 1 pound and baby B weighs 8 ounces, and weight times board length equals stability, which baby is more stable?

Physics! Well, just read the math paragraph above. What else do you need?

Social studies: Where should I start. First of all, notice that not all my daughter’s babies are caucasian. If she had been at school, wouldn’t she have learned that only pale-skinned people surf? A fallacy, we all know. But in homeschool, she is free to believe that we are all free to be you and me. In fact, we start every homeschool day by watching Free to be you and me.

History: Did you know that people didn’t always surf? My daughter does! She knows that yesterday, her babies didn’t surf, but today, they do. See? Everyday life just leads us to history, and a grasp of the infinite truth.

Language arts: It’s true that my daughter’s penmanship is atrocious. We’ve talked about it, and she’s thrown many a pencil at me to prove her points. You see, when she throws the pencil, she’s actually creating an essay in her head about why she shouldn’t have to practice penmanship. And in so doing, she’s actually doing Language Arts. She may not be writing it down, but I feel certain that if she were required to do so by Star Testing, she would be able to. It’s also pretty certain that she knows the difference between its and it’s, but since most teachers don’t, it’s good that she’s in homeschool so that she wouldn’t get too frustrated.

Socialization: Oh, here’s the big bugaboo, the great argument against homeschooling. How is my daughter going to become socialized if she doesn’t go to school every day with children the same age and follow the orders of one adult? How will she learn to work in a workplace with people of all different ages and people who can’t just tell her what to do and who never listen to her ideas?

Well, let’s just go back to those surfing babies. First of all, she doesn’t need to be a student with them: she’s their teacher. All babies can enroll in her surfing school at the age of 6 months, and she will be their teacher. She tells them what to do and doesn’t let them have original ideas. So she’s really past that school thing, right? She’s just gone straight to being a teacher! And isn’t that what everyone says about kids that are ahead of their class? They shouldn’t get to do work at their own level: they should be required to help the other kids and that will be all the learning they need. Why let them go ahead when they can stay behind with the six-month-olds, right?

So as far as socialization goes, I have proven to you, through my daughter’s surfing babies, that she can get along with people of different skin colors, that she can function well in a group of people of different ages, as she will have to do in the rest of her life, and that she is already so socially advanced that she is an actual surfing teacher at the age of six. I’m sure there’s nothing left for you to say here.

OK, now I need you to admit it once and for all: you’re OK with this homeschooling thing, right? Now you’re totally convinced that my daughter is learning, that she is blossoming under my tutelage. I realize that I don’t have a degree in teaching, but heck, I’ve been around this long, I might as well have a degree in life, right? And isn’t that what homeschool is all about? Learning through life.

I think I’m preparing my daughter pretty well. What do you think?

Oh, and by the way, let me know if you know of anyone who wants surfing lessons: I know a great teacher!

A slow-motion accident

Posted on by Suki

I have just finished the most difficult article I’ve written. It’s about special education in Scotts Valley, funding, and the fights between parents and the district. It was a real “she said / he said” experience, with those on the administrative side saying that everything necessary gets done for the kids in special ed, and the parents on the other side saying that their kids are clearly not getting what they need.

Once again, it mostly seems to come down to money. School districts, of course, know that they are mandated to provide “appropriate” services to special ed students, so they can’t admit that they’re trying to save money or they’ll admit that they’re breaking the law. Parents know that the schools are struggling — most parents of kids in special ed have other kids, too. But they also know what their kids need, and that their kids are supposed to be served by the public schools.

I didn’t know a lot about special education before I started the article. What I knew was this: I had known several families who told me that they didn’t consider private schools for their kids because for special ed kids, all the services are in the public schools. When they said that, it struck me that this should be true for all kids: I don’t need to send my child to private school, because we have public schools that serve his/her needs. Doesn’t that sound almost incredible to any of you who know what your children really need?

The other thing I knew about special education was what I didn’t want: When our daughter first started having trouble in school, at the tender age of three, our family therapist mentioned that we could probably get free services for her through the school district. It would be very easy to get someone to give her a diagnosis and thus an IEP (Independent Educational Plan — read my story to see how important these are to special ed kids). However, she said, the problem is that once you have an IEP, you have an IEP. As Susie Christensen says in my article, how would other families feel if their kids were being raised by committee?

The therapist’s description was enough to make me realize that I would use the public school/IEP option as a last resort for our daughter, and our therapist agreed. The therapist always maintained, along with our pediatrician, our daughter’s occupational therapists, and a gifted education consultant who worked with her, that it was all developmental. Eventually she’d be able to sort things out and figure out how to get along in the world.

As predicted, we are seeing that happen. It’s a wonderful vindication of what we’ve believed all along, that our society is bent on pathologising the outer ranges of normal human behavior. Our society has come to believe that the labels are important, and we slap them on kids to pacify ourselves. Yes, I’m sure I could have had her diagnosed ADHD, early onset bi-polar, or whatever they will think of next. But as our wise pediatrician likes to say, “First, I want to assure you that this is completely normal. It’s on the far edge of normal, but it IS normal!”

Normal is a pretty big field. Somebody’s got to be at the edge of it.

But back to my article, and these kids who aren’t “normal.” As the parents say, each and every autistic kid is differently different. Each one needs a caring group of adults, including parents, to sit down and evaluate his or her needs, to figure out how to bring this autistic child into the world of functioning adults. This can be an expensive thing to do.

I have never forgotten the New Yorker article I read written by a man with Asperger’s Syndrome (a type of autism). So-called “high functioning” autistic people can go on to lead full, productive lives. They can get married and raise happy children. They can hold down jobs. Yeah, they probably won’t be talk show hosts, but boy, that saves us from yet another talk show host, doesn’t it?

I feel so lucky that I am able to homeschool my daughter, and that we’ve found a public school program that fits her (and my) needs. As I wrote earlier in the summer, she talked pretty much non-stop for a few weeks about how she wants to go to school. She sees her brother so happy in his school, and she sees that he has made some really great friends. Actually, he’s made one really great friend, the first real “bosom buddy” he’s found. What she doesn’t understand is that it’s taken him till he was ten to do that. She wants it at six.

I’m so glad she’s not in school, and she doesn’t have an IEP, and I don’t have to wrestle with all of this. As all the parents I spoke with mentioned, no one asks for a kid with special needs. You do the same thing that other people do, then you get this kid who isn’t…”normal.” But you are promised that your child will get “appropriate” services, and you know how much potential your child has. Then along comes the budget issue.

Someone asked the other day for recommendations of what to do in Santa Cruz. I had to prefix my recommendation to go to a state park with the caveat that I actually don’t know which state parks we’ll have in a month’s time. Things are in a slow, confusing meltdown here in California. A kid goes back to school to find that his beloved and trusted aide has been replaced by someone who’s cheaper. A family loads their bikes up to find that their beloved state park is shuttered. What next?

One time I had a slow motion accident. I was carrying two large bins up a set of stairs, and my foot got caught on a stair. I was moving very slowly, so I started falling very slowly. And it was the strangest feeling, like I knew what was coming but I didn’t quite believe it. I had the time to realize that I didn’t have time to drop the bins and protect my head. I felt the edge of the bin coming closer.

The interesting thing was that, perhaps because of the slow speed, I didn’t feel the injury at all. It wasn’t until my friend came in the house and saw me sitting there with blood running down my face and I saw the look register on his face that I realized that I’d been seriously injured.

Yes, the novocaine hurt, but the stitches didn’t. By then, I knew what was coming.

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