One of the hardest parts about being a kid is that it always seems like someone is criticizing you!
At home, your parent tells you when you’ve done something wrong… or when you were supposed to do something but you didn’t.
In classes, your teacher tells you when your work isn’t as good as it could be.
Sometimes classes have “peer review” and other students get to tell you what’s wrong.
Why is it so hard?
Hearing that you didn’t do something perfectly is always hard. No person can actually be perfect, but that doesn’t make it easier when we realize we aren’t perfect.
Hearing about what we did wrong can be really hard, and sometimes we react in ways that are not at all helpful:
- Maybe we get angry
- Maybe we deny that the criticism is valid
- Maybe we try to cover up our mistakes
How to accept criticism
1. Remember that people don’t usually intend to hurt your feelings.
Usually criticism is offered because someone thinks they can help (though sometimes they do it badly and hurtfully!)
2. Listen!
This is the hard part. We usually want to interrupt and defend ourselves, but if we wait and listen, we allow the speaker to fully express themselves.
3. Try it on for size
Maybe a teacher just said that a project you spent hours on needs some more work. Maybe your friend criticized a story that’s the best you ever wrote.
No matter what it is, actually consider their points. If your teacher said it, you should act on their suggestions and see if you agree that the changes improve your project. If it’s your friend, do consider what they said and whether it might be worth a try.
Why accept criticism?
The thing that makes life and learning exciting is when we see growth in ourselves. The only way we can grow is to expose ourselves to discomfort. Even when you think a criticism is ridiculous, trying it out can help you grow.
The nice thing about the digital age is how easy it is to keep old versions. So do it!
- Does your teacher want you to do more research? Great, archive a copy of the project you’re working on and then power forward.
- Did your friend suggest that you give the evil cousin in your story long purple hair? Heck, make a copy of the story and give everyone long purple hair!
If you are working on a one-of-a-kind project, such as a sculpture, remember that every mistake you make helps you grow and improve. When we protect ourselves from growth and change, we also protect ourselves from success and real satisfaction in our accomplishments.