quarantine Archives : Page 2 of 2 : Suki Wessling, writer

The other day I wrote about homeschooling tips you can use with your suddenly-at-home younger kids. Today I’m addressing your teens, who may have quite different needs.

Whether your teen is homeschooled or at school in regular life, things have changed. They are now home 24/7 and that can exacerbate existing tensions. Teens thrive with independence because that’s what they are programmed to seek. If your teen doesn’t seem too thrilled at your suggestion to play a board game with the family, well, that’s not too surprising.

Trust them

First, let’s get this over with: Teens who have their parents’ trust are more likely to trust their parents, more likely to confide in them, and more likely to heed their advice. Make it clear to your teen that you trust them. Don’t forget to tell them what you admire about them.

But then, be frank with them. Make sure they’ve been exposed to non-alarmist, fact-based information about what’s happening. Then make it clear that you trust them to do the right thing.

Let ’em out

A number of my teen students have told me that their parents are keeping them inside, and not, apparently, because that’s warranted. Find out what your local and state health departments are advising. Ours, both in my county and state, are advising that non-symptomatic people get out and get fresh air and exercise—as long as they follow social distancing rules.

This is especially important for your teens. Encourage them to get out in the natural light and get some exercise. It will be good for their emotional health as well as their physical health. If they absolutely must be inside, go back to the question of trust: Make sure they understand why they’re cooped up and what the parameters are.

Explore with them

My teen and I like to give ourselves facials. And I am definitely going to ask for a fun stripe of colored hair!

Whether you are out or in, you can join your teen in their explorations. Maybe you can both learn a new skill, like bread-baking or chess. Maybe you can go to a park for a walk.

Ask your teen to show you funny videos. Do your hair together. Watch a show. They might reject you, but you can always try!

Support but don’t pressure them about academics

Chances are your teen’s academics are going to look a little different for the rest of the semester. Ask them what they need from you, but if you weren’t involved on a day-to-day level before, back off and give them some space. Remember: every single kid applying to college is going to have a story to tell about what happened this semester. A bad grade or an incomplete really won’t be the end. And it’s certainly not worth destroying your relationship over.

Love them

So many teens believe that their parents don’t love them. So many parents are convinced that their teens disdain them. In any case, we have to fight against that. Remind them that you love them, even as you let them have the independence that they seek.

Further reading: Nice article from Greater Good magazine

12 years ago, I came home from my younger child’s kindergarten in distress. It was clear that his developmental issues were making it impossible for him to learn in a classroom setting.

I suddenly became the world’s most reluctant homeschooler.

That experience forced me to get creative—just like millions of parents around the US are suddenly being forced to get creative due to quarantines and school closures.

You may not be in a position to become a homeschooler full-time, but here are some tips for ways that you can keep your kids—and you—from going insane in the short term.

Cure your nature deficit

Have you heard of Nature Deficit Disorder? It’s a thing. It’s one of the underlying issues in modern kids’ behavioral problems. It’s easily curable:

Go outside. Outside is a great place to be during an epidemic, as long as your family has not been quarantined due to an active infection. And even if you don’t live near actual nature, a walk on city streets gets your kids out in the natural light.

Raining? Snowing? Humans are resilient. Our bodies do fine anywhere from the edge of the Arctic to the rainforest. Put on gear, go out, get muddy, get ridiculous.

Afraid of making too much laundry? What else do you have to do?

Gamify!

Kids’ brains are wired for learning and investigation. The reason they like those video games so much is that they are engineered to take advantage of kids’ natural inclinations.

You can do it, too. Make everything you do into a ridiculous game. Have to walk somewhere because you can’t take public transit? Invent a contest for the funniest walk. Stuck in a two-level condo with energetic kids? Invent a game that involves going up and down the stairs…a lot.

Treasure hunt

There is nothing kids like more than a treasure hunt. Not convinced? Try it. If you’re not stuck inside, do a treasure hunt in your neighborhood: make a list of things they need to find. If you don’t want them to touch anything, give them a device and have them take photos. Kids are like little seeking machines—once they get into it, they’ll wear you out before they’re done. (If you’re stuck inside, hide small items like marbles around the house and give the kids buckets!)

Counting

This was often a last-ditch resort of mine, trying to keep a high-energy kid focused so we could get things done or get somewhere we needed to go. Ask them to count. How many telephone poles are there on our street? How many squirrels can you see in the next ten minutes? (Set a timer—timers are great motivation for kids.) Let’s find all the prime numbers up to a hundred.

A change of paradigm

What I tell new homeschoolers is that their new educational path is not a change of schools, it’s a change of paradigm. Your entire life shifts when you are suddenly at home with people you used to send off to school.

We’re all stuck in this new paradigm, for a while at least. Rather than fighting it, I suggest you embrace it. As the mother of one kid in college and another about to leave, I will tell you that these years go fast.

You might even create some fun memories during this time of stress and uncertainty.

Tag: quarantine

Support your teen who is learning at home